The Journey to a New Dee: What are you thankful for?

Gratitude.

Today's post is quite random, but something I felt the need to share with all of you. As some of you may know from some of my previous posts, I have been struggling with extreme anxiety and depression for awhile now. I was not happy with the path my life was taking mentally and physically. When I decided to change my lifestyle and start becoming a healthier person, I decided at the same time to really put everything I have into finding my inner happiness because at the end of the day, the way you look on the outside does not matter if you are not happy on the inside. True beauty is when someone is happy with themselves because they emit that to everyone around them and you can tell when someone is happy.

Of course I have been "happy" in the past when I spent time with my friends and we laughed and when I am with my family I am "happy", but something was missing. I wasn't and still am not "happy" with myself. If we don't love our selves how are we going to love anyone else? This is still a work in progress for me and since I have started to lose weight and change things around in my life it made me more of an open book I guess you could say. I was always one to talk about my feelings with my friends and what not, but I never talked about how I wasn't happy with myself because I figured I would get weird looks etc. When I decided to be truthful with myself and not make up anymore excuses for myself it made me more open to so many more things. I was in a vulneraeble state and was out of my comfort zone trying something new and changing the way my everyday life was. If you know me personally you can agree with me when I say I do not do change well. I absolutely hate change and stepping out of my comfort zone. When I started to get serious about losing weight and changing my life it made me so much more open to change because I realized that when I changed my eating habits and changed certain things in my life good things came from it! So that's when I decided to remove certain people from my life which was really one of the best things I could have done, as well as painting my room and re decorating my room which seems small to some people but I couldn't even switch bedding without feeling uncomfortable.

The reason behind this post was because I have been thinking a lot lately about what my next step is going to be in life. I am still trying to figure out my place in this world and what I want to make of my life. I so many dreams and aspirations that I want to achieve in my life and there is no one stopping me but myself. I wouldn't recognize myself one year ago if she came up to me and hit me in the face (okay weird anology) anyway you guys get what I am saying. I feel like I am a completely different person in a good way. I am more open to change now, and am excited to see what the future holds for me.

Inner happiness is one thing that I am still trying to find though. When I look at myself in the mirror I see a completely different person physically looking back at me, but I still see pain in my eyes. Even though I have changed some things about my life and have gotten better at certain aspects there is still so much more that needs adjusting in order for me to feel complete happiness.

I don't think that people really think about the little things in life. Gratitude. I read a blog post awhile back from this guy who lives in Austin Texas all about gratitude. I always knew what the word meant but I never used it in my own vocabulary. There may be so many bigger things in life that seem more important such as money being the number one, having a significant other, or having the best job etc. But do we really pay attention to the little things in life that we never notice make us happy? I created a list to share with you all some of the things that I never stopped to notice how happy these things make me. After making this list, I have a greater admiration and outlook on life. If everyone made a list and focused on these things along with everything else that made them happy on a day to day basis and not focus on what they are not happy about everyone would be so much more enjoyable and so much more fulfulled.

This is a line from Alex's post about gratitude that I loved and it has stuck with me. “Every good and perfect gift” is already yours; it’s only awaiting your recognition.

Gratitude List

The still of early morning when no one else is awake in the world

The smell of freshly brewed coffee

Finding that last cold water bottle in the refridgerator

When there is that one square in your waffle filled with the most butter and syrup

The unexpected hugs from parents or loved ones

Finding that perfect quote that resinates with exactly what you are going through

Trying a piece of clothing on that you love and having it fit perfectly

Finding out that piece of clothing is actually 50% off (my favorite)

Seeing an older couple holding hands

Seeing people do something good for someone else

Climbing into your freshly washed and perfectly made bed at night when you need sleep

Falling asleep to your favorite song

A nice hot bubble bath with a book

Finishing a project you have been working on forever

Looking at the scale and seeing all of your hard work pay off (;

Sweating profusely after a long workout

A compliment on your outfit

Witnessing little kids find out something exciting

Watching my niece expierence everything in life and seeing her innocence

The perfect bowl of queso

Waking up and realizing it's Saturday

The groceries in the car staying upright on the way home

When your feet hit the cold floor in the morning

Seeing your waiter approach your table with your food

That mouth watering feeling when your food is set down on the table

Turning your car on, and your favorite song is playing on the radio

Laughing uncontrolably you start crying (guilty)

The sound of crashing waves

The smell of corn dogs and cotton candy at a fair or the Rodeo

The butterflies in your stomach when you see your crush

The anticipation for exciting plans you have coming up

Laying in bed at night thinking about everything in the world

Witnessing God's magic and prayer working

How my niece's nose and cheeks get red when it's cold outside

The perfect combination of salsa to chip so it doesn't spill

Frito's on your chili

Sliding back and forth in the bath tub to get the perfect ratio of hot to cold water

Going to bed at night knowing everything on your to-do list is crossed off

Cooking a meal from scratch

When your plugged up nostril randomly decides to open back up

Road trips

Loud music

Freedom, love and faith

These are just some of them that I could think of and maybe a few from Alex's post that I think were made for me! I didn't know that someone else noticed the same things I notice! It is so important for everyone to stop and realize these things in life that not a lot of people think about. I am sure all if not one of you guys have either noticed or done one of the things I mentiioned before, but I wonder how many you guys have stopped and realized how happy those things made you feel. The next time something happens where you get a little smile on your face stop and take it all in. Relish in the beauty of life and what it has waiting for all of us. I cannot wait to go out and see the world and add more and more to this list. I also want to know what some of yours! Here at the end I am going to add in some pictures of things that make me happy. Find a picture and set it as your phone background so you are constantly thinking about what makes you happy. Another amazing idea that I saw on a documentary one time was a gratitude rock. It might sound silly at first but it can really make a difference. Just find a smooth rock anywhere, clean it and write "Gratitude" on it. Put it in your pants pocket, your purse or your car, just put it somewhere where you will find it throughout the day. Everytime you find it or touch it, stop and give thanks for what makes you happy and the things or people that you love. Throughout the day things can get hetic and people can forget about the important things in life and let things like their job, money and stress overcome them and get in the way.