Coming to you today with some insight on how my mental happiness and inner peace is doing.
During this entire process, I have been not only changing my outer appearance but more importantly reshaping and making my inner and mental beauty better. I hope that makes sense.
Every teenager around my age, 19 we all seem to get 'antsy' with our lives. If it means we hate our jobs and wish we had one we liked, we aren't going to the school of our dreams, or your simply wondering what your next step in life is supposed to be. I myself am currently going through this and I have talked to some of my close friends and they all agreed with me that they are as well. That is what I am trying to understand today, is why at this age are we all either unhappy with our lives and why are we always questioning our future?
Since Day 1 my sister who is five years older than I am, has always wanted to be a teacher. We used to play school and she would always be the teacher no matter what. That is her passion, and she is currently in college about to graduate with her teaching license and already has a classroom ready to go for when she graduates and she is the happiest she has been because she knows she is fulfilling her dream. Seeing her, makes me question and wonder what I am supposed to do for the rest of my life?
I've always been told to 'follow my passion', but what am I supposed to do when I don't know what my passion is? These are the issues that I am trying to clear first before I put anything else in my life first. Do I go off to college when I know that isn't for me? Do I choose a career just because I am forced to? Do I 'travel the world' because that is what I see kids in their 20s doing and I want to live my life? All of these questions are going through my mind constantly. I am the only one who can make my life the way I want it to be, no one else.
I have a lot of things that I love to do, but does that mean I want them to be my career? This is where I get confused... I see people's lives day to day and I always say "Hey, that is exactly what I want to do!" or "If only I could do what she does every day I would be so happy". But then I have to think about well what makes one person happy may not make another person happy. SO WHAT IS OUT THERE FOR ME? I know that I will one day figure it out, but I do know one thing. I will never settle on something just because I am tired of searching or I give up because I will never give up on myself or my happiness.
So, I am going to start a Bucket List. Not the millions I have made over the years in middle school and high school about doing stupid things, but things that I truly want to accomplish in my lifetime. Making this, I hope it will inspire someone else to start theirs and to follow their own dreams. I absolutely love seeing people live out their dreams, because I know that it isn't easy.
Even though to someone else your dream may sound 'stupid' or it may sound 'impractical' that's why it is YOUR dream. Not theirs. You are going to be the one who is happy in the end not them.
I am making this blog post today, because dealing with depression and anxiety are two of the worst things a person can go through and dealing with them at the same time makes you feel hopeless and worthless and makes you never want to get out of bed. (trust me, it's true). I myself am not fully at that point where I am happy in my own skin and I am not satisfied with how my life is going so the only thing to do is to change it. I want to share 2 links with anyone who is still reading this (sorry for it being so long) that has made me look at life differently and makes me feel better that there are other people out there that are like me and are suffering with the same things I am suffering from.
This is a girl that I watch on YouTube, her name is Zoe but her username is Zoella and I am so glad that I found this video.
Also, this guy's blog. His name is Alex Wagman and he has a blog called "The Bucket List Blog" and let's just say I have never been so inspired by someone so young. He is older than me by a couple of years but his insight is insanely perfect. He inspired me to not take little things in life for granted and to worry less and live out my dreams.
I hope you guys enjoyed this post
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