Change & a look back..

In the waves of change, we find our true direction.

Change can hit us hard. Sometimes it’s unexpected, and rolling with the punches is the best way to deal with it. In the midst of the chaos though, there’s a light.

It grows, from dim to bright. The unrecognizable becomes clear, and finding that new direction brings along a feeling that is pure.

Change is something we all experience, but the way we get over the hurdles is where the difference stands. How do you break though and find the right path?

You could say I am a religious reader of the Free People Blog. No matter what mood I am in it always seems to make me feel better. They recently wrote this blog post about change and it immediately triggered this blog post of mine. I have been going back and forth in my head about a blog post that I wanted to post about my experience and feelings regarding change but didn't know how to exactly portray it until I saw the paragraph above from their post. 
I myself have battled with change since as far back as I can remember. I am not sure why, or what it stems from but the mere idea of change makes me have an anxiety attack...For the longest time I kept to the same daily cycle and got stuck in a comfort zone. 

It wasn't until I started my weight loss journey that my eyes suddenly opened to a whole new world, a world filled with change. I had to change the way I thought, felt, and saw food. I knew that in order to completely give this new journey my all I would have to let certain aspects go that I was still holding onto. I knew that I would have to risk not going out with my friends because I was still so fresh to this new journey and I didn't want to surround myself with fattening foods etc. Making these decisions were hard yes, but because I wanted this so incredibly bad nothing affected me as they used to. It was almost like I was invincible to the things that used to tear me down meant nothing to me anymore. My personality started to change and I started to see a new version of myself trying to break through this wall that I had built up for so long. My emotions were all over the place but the most important thing is that I didn't shy away from this new and scary change in my life. I embraced it and took it head on. With the obvious physical changes that were happening it's only natural that I gained a new sense of confidence which I always told myself and others I had, but to be honest never really had. Seeing my confidence level grow and my personality start to blossom gave me even more motivation to continue on my journey. 

One of the most important things that happened with me, and something that I made sure I tell people when they start out is to look at this journey as a lifestyle change. When I stopped looking at it as a burden or a problem I had to quickly fix, and started looking at it as my new lifestyle you could start to see a new person blossoming. It proved to me that all of the dreams and aspirations I have in my life are one hundred percent achievable. 

Even though I still suffer from extreme anxiety still to this day, and am still a tad scared of change I feel like I am able to deal with change and deal with the anxiety because of how much I had to during this journey. It not only tested me physically but also mentally.

Life is full of twists and turns and it is up to us whether or not we are going to let it affect our lives. Ever single day you have the opportunity to make the best out of your day and to look at everything in a positive way. I want to say that I am a completely different person because of this journey because before I truly had no idea who I was. I had never challenged myself, so I never knew what I was capable of.  In the future I will have the confidence that I will be able to deal with change in a positive way. If there is something that is holding you back, my advice would be to DO IT. No holds bar, no excuses do it. If it ends up being a fail or it wasn't what you thought it was then you have learned from that experience and you now know what it is you should or shouldn't do. 

Change is all around us. Sometimes it's so little you didn't even realize it had come and gone. Or it could be life altering and something you have to really think about and deal with. Whatever it may be, just know that you are capable of dealing with it. You don't ever have to go through it alone. This weight loss journey has opened my eyes to a whole new world. I stepped out of my comfort zone and changed the way I was living my day to day life. Even though it was scary and I had my doubts, because I was so passionate and because I was so dead set on losing this weight and becoming healthy nothing stopped me or got in my way. I kept that in my mind at all times and that is what helped me get through it all. You are going to have ups and downs and you are going to question yourself and what you are doing throughout your journey but never let those get in the way of your end goal. If you asked me about moving away from home or getting out there and starting my future two years ago I would most likely make a joke about it and change the conversation as quickly as I could. I would dodge any conversation if it involved some sort of change in my life. Now, I welcome the conversation with open arms and am not only ready, but excited to talk about what the next chapter in my life is.

Writing this post has led me to reflect back on 2014 and everything that has happened. This year was definitely a whirlwind, but then again what year isn't?! This was the year that I officially lost 100 pounds! Back in November, I had officially lost 100 pounds and it was most likely one of the greatest days of my life. With that being the number one thing that stands out from this past year there was definitely a lot of amazing memories that was shared with my friends and family. I got extremely close with my three year old niece Zoey, and spent such amazing quality time with her and my family. I went to a life changing EDM concert this year with two of my best friends, and so much more! Thank you to everyone who has kept up with my journey for yet another year! You have no idea how much I appreciate every single person who has either contacted me and sent me such kind and thoughtful words, or if you have just simply clicked on one of my blog posts. Thank you so much, because you have helped me grow into the person that I am today, and you have helped me realize so much about myself. I cannot wait to see what 2015 has in store for me and can't wait to bring you all along!