Change & a look back..

In the waves of change, we find our true direction.

Change can hit us hard. Sometimes it’s unexpected, and rolling with the punches is the best way to deal with it. In the midst of the chaos though, there’s a light.

It grows, from dim to bright. The unrecognizable becomes clear, and finding that new direction brings along a feeling that is pure.

Change is something we all experience, but the way we get over the hurdles is where the difference stands. How do you break though and find the right path?

You could say I am a religious reader of the Free People Blog. No matter what mood I am in it always seems to make me feel better. They recently wrote this blog post about change and it immediately triggered this blog post of mine. I have been going back and forth in my head about a blog post that I wanted to post about my experience and feelings regarding change but didn't know how to exactly portray it until I saw the paragraph above from their post. 
I myself have battled with change since as far back as I can remember. I am not sure why, or what it stems from but the mere idea of change makes me have an anxiety attack...For the longest time I kept to the same daily cycle and got stuck in a comfort zone. 

It wasn't until I started my weight loss journey that my eyes suddenly opened to a whole new world, a world filled with change. I had to change the way I thought, felt, and saw food. I knew that in order to completely give this new journey my all I would have to let certain aspects go that I was still holding onto. I knew that I would have to risk not going out with my friends because I was still so fresh to this new journey and I didn't want to surround myself with fattening foods etc. Making these decisions were hard yes, but because I wanted this so incredibly bad nothing affected me as they used to. It was almost like I was invincible to the things that used to tear me down meant nothing to me anymore. My personality started to change and I started to see a new version of myself trying to break through this wall that I had built up for so long. My emotions were all over the place but the most important thing is that I didn't shy away from this new and scary change in my life. I embraced it and took it head on. With the obvious physical changes that were happening it's only natural that I gained a new sense of confidence which I always told myself and others I had, but to be honest never really had. Seeing my confidence level grow and my personality start to blossom gave me even more motivation to continue on my journey. 

One of the most important things that happened with me, and something that I made sure I tell people when they start out is to look at this journey as a lifestyle change. When I stopped looking at it as a burden or a problem I had to quickly fix, and started looking at it as my new lifestyle you could start to see a new person blossoming. It proved to me that all of the dreams and aspirations I have in my life are one hundred percent achievable. 

Even though I still suffer from extreme anxiety still to this day, and am still a tad scared of change I feel like I am able to deal with change and deal with the anxiety because of how much I had to during this journey. It not only tested me physically but also mentally.

Life is full of twists and turns and it is up to us whether or not we are going to let it affect our lives. Ever single day you have the opportunity to make the best out of your day and to look at everything in a positive way. I want to say that I am a completely different person because of this journey because before I truly had no idea who I was. I had never challenged myself, so I never knew what I was capable of.  In the future I will have the confidence that I will be able to deal with change in a positive way. If there is something that is holding you back, my advice would be to DO IT. No holds bar, no excuses do it. If it ends up being a fail or it wasn't what you thought it was then you have learned from that experience and you now know what it is you should or shouldn't do. 

Change is all around us. Sometimes it's so little you didn't even realize it had come and gone. Or it could be life altering and something you have to really think about and deal with. Whatever it may be, just know that you are capable of dealing with it. You don't ever have to go through it alone. This weight loss journey has opened my eyes to a whole new world. I stepped out of my comfort zone and changed the way I was living my day to day life. Even though it was scary and I had my doubts, because I was so passionate and because I was so dead set on losing this weight and becoming healthy nothing stopped me or got in my way. I kept that in my mind at all times and that is what helped me get through it all. You are going to have ups and downs and you are going to question yourself and what you are doing throughout your journey but never let those get in the way of your end goal. If you asked me about moving away from home or getting out there and starting my future two years ago I would most likely make a joke about it and change the conversation as quickly as I could. I would dodge any conversation if it involved some sort of change in my life. Now, I welcome the conversation with open arms and am not only ready, but excited to talk about what the next chapter in my life is.

Writing this post has led me to reflect back on 2014 and everything that has happened. This year was definitely a whirlwind, but then again what year isn't?! This was the year that I officially lost 100 pounds! Back in November, I had officially lost 100 pounds and it was most likely one of the greatest days of my life. With that being the number one thing that stands out from this past year there was definitely a lot of amazing memories that was shared with my friends and family. I got extremely close with my three year old niece Zoey, and spent such amazing quality time with her and my family. I went to a life changing EDM concert this year with two of my best friends, and so much more! Thank you to everyone who has kept up with my journey for yet another year! You have no idea how much I appreciate every single person who has either contacted me and sent me such kind and thoughtful words, or if you have just simply clicked on one of my blog posts. Thank you so much, because you have helped me grow into the person that I am today, and you have helped me realize so much about myself. I cannot wait to see what 2015 has in store for me and can't wait to bring you all along!

My style + Fall staples

Fall is officially here and I could not be more excited. There is something about watching the leaves change colors, the weather getting cooler, and the pumpkins that start to appear on front steps. What I love even more about this season, is the fashion. I myself, love the cold weather way more than the hot summer heat. My style gets more and more creative when the fall and winter seasons approach. Ever since I lost weight, I love to experiment with fashion any chance that I can get. I loved fashion to begin with hence being one of the main factors why I chose to lose weight in the first place.

Another aspect about my style in general is the amount of dark colors. Black is pretty much all I wear and what I feel most confident in. Besides black, I tend to stick to mainly neutral colors such as white, grey, and black. You might be thinking how boring, but simplicity to me is key. I would rather accessorize with color using jewelry etc, than wear it through my clothing.

Stripes are everything. Well maybe not everything, but they are a staple in my closet. Every time I set foot into a clothing store the first thing that catches my eye is black obviously, but anything with stripes. There's something about the simple pattern that I love and it seems to look okay on me. You will see how these two trends occur quite often in my wardrobe. In this post, I wanted to share with you all some outfits that I have been loving recently and what some of my staples are for this upcoming season.

T-shirt - Forever 21

Black Skirt - Forever 21

This outfit is something you can catch me in all the time. First of all, it has my two staples all in one, stripes and black! Threw my hair into a low messy bun and can't forget my white converse and I am out the door. Simple, yet more dressy and girly with the skirt.

Dress - Target

If there is one thing I cannot live without, it's t-shirt dresses. I can throw one of these on with converse to dress it down, or throw on a pair of black ankle booties to dress it up and I am good to go. I also love playing this particular dress up with fun jewelry

Dress - Target

Leather jacket - Forever 21

There is nothing quite more satisfying than throwing a leather jacket on. I don't know if it is just me, but my confidence level immediately goes up after throwing a leather jacket on. A black leather jacket is perfect to throw on over pretty much any outfit and it is a must have for fall and winter for me.

Shirt - Forever 21

Skirt - Forever 21

Necklace - Charming Charlies

Tights - Target

This outfit is a tad dressier but is exactly my style. Sticking with the simple color scheme, and adding a nice dark green skirt for a pop of color. This could be worn with black ankle booties and a fun clutch for a night out on the town! 

This next look is so much fun. I paired the same tights and skirt with a vintage t-shirt and a funky necklace. This is definitely my style, vintage mixed with edgy. Most of you are probably confused seeing as it is a yellow shirt...I know but I couldn't pass this amazing vintage t-shirt up that explains me more than anything.."California Dreaming.."

T-shirt - Vintage shop

Necklace - Local Boutique

Tights - Target

Skirt - Forever 21

As of right now, the only shoes that I have been wearing are my white converse. They match with literally every single outfit, and are extremely comfortable. Black ankle booties are my second must have shoe for fall. I have three pair already. One casual pair, and two more dressier pairs that I wear all the time. I know once the weather gets cooler, and I go shopping more I will find some other fall shoes, but for the moment ankle booties and converse are my staples.

Jeans - Forever 21 (ripped myself)

Black booties - Old Navy

Have fun this fall and winter experimenting with fashion and making the clothes you wear apart of your personality. I love going through my closet and putting together outfits that I wouldn't have thought to put together. Clothes aren't meant to be boring. I can't wait for the upcoming fall and winter season where I know I will be sharing more of my style and more fashion posts because this is the greatest time of the entire year, right?!

Down 100, & a HUGE THANK YOU!

HELLO EVERYONE! I am coming to you today with the largest internet hug possible! I got up the courage last night to post my before and after picture on my Instagram and Facebook so all of my friends and family could see and seeing all of the heart felt words and encouragement was overwhelming amazing! I posted a before and after picture when I had lost 50 pounds, and I got such amazing feedback from everyone on that picture. When I posted it I told everyone that I was going to post my next before and after when I had lost a total of 100 and here I am! Typing it out seems so unreal because I still have to remind myself of how many pounds that actually is! I know how proud my family and friends are of me, but I am here today to say how proud I am of myself.

When I started this journey I had no idea what was going to come out of it. Yes, I knew that because I was so passionate about losing weight and I was so willingly ready that I was going to look different and maybe feel different. Boy was I way off, I not only look different but most of the time I can't even recognize myself let alone people I haven't seen in a long time. I absolutely feel amazing inside and out. My confidence has blossomed and I know feel more excited and ready for what the future holds. It was almost like the weight was a blanket covering up the true me. By tackling this huge burden that had consumed me for my entire life, it opens up so many emotions. I feel like I can now start my life the way I want to live it, because before I never felt confident enough or brave enough to be myself. Okay okay I need to stop before I really start to cry!

From the beginning I have had the most amazing people behind me, encouraging me and sending me text messages randomly saying how proud they were of me. These not only boosted my confidence, but it also made me that much more ready and motivated to keep going and to never give up. That is one of my biggest tips. Never give up. Even when you are crying because you don't want to get up and work out or when you sit there and dream about pizza in your head (guilty), do not ever give up. I have had my ups and downs of course because I am human and you are as well, but the key to staying on track is not letting those downs define this entire journey for you. Remind yourself of all that you have accomplished and only keep those positive thoughts in your mind because those will motivate you to get up and keep on going! I have said this multiple times already, but this is easily the hardest thing I have ever had to do but it is also the most rewarding. I want each person reading this who wants to start living a healthy lifestyle and get into shape to remember this. Even if you are doing this alone in your own person life, you are never fully alone! You have so many people out there like myself who is here ready to help you on your own journey. No one is stopping you from reaching your goals but yourself. You are the one who has to make yourself get up from the couch and work out, and grab that apple instead of the potato chips.

I am working towards blog posts more towards getting started on your own journey and sharing my tips and advice because I have had multiple people ask me how I got started and how I lost 100 pounds and there is just no way I can sum it up into a paragraph let alone a text message! I know that it is hard, I know that you must me thinking to yourself, "I can't do this, I have no idea where I would even start out or what I would eat". Trust me when I say I was in the same exact spot as you are right now a little over a year ago and look at me now. There is no such thing as "I can't". I hate hearing that because it is not true. You CAN do anything you set your mind to no matter what it is.

Again, thank you to every single person who has read even one of my blog posts, liked a picture on Instagram or shared such sweet kind words. You don't realize how much of an impact that does have on me and my journey. Just simply writing this blog post out makes me emotional (in a good way) and makes me want to cry because of how blessed I am! I will see you soon with so many fun inspirational blog posts so get ready!

AND there is no better day to start your new journey than today, so come on let's do this together!

I LOVE ALL OF YOU!

My Hair Crisis

Hair is a strange concept if you think about it for too much. I mean we grow single tiny hairs out of our scalp that we cut, color and wash. Never the less, we love our hair, (well most of us do) and we like to take care of it. Especially us women, who spend a fortune on making sure our hair is in tip top shape. I myself like to get my hair colored and cut here and there but by no means am I an avid visitor to the salon. Anyway, recently I have been noticing that I am losing hair. This might freak some people out because saying it freaks me out. Let me clarify, I am not finding clumps of hair on my pillow every morning, but I have noticed that my hair is getting extremely thin, thinner than normal that is. This not only worries me, but it makes me extremely aware and careful about what products and what hot tools I use on my hair. I am no hair expert and I haven't had to worry about this problem before, so I know that these products are probably not the greatest or the most organic for my hair right now, but these are what I am currently using to help here and there before I find a more effective product. 

I have heard multiple times about how it is not recommended to wash your hair every day, let alone every other day so I have taken that into consideration and only wash my hair every two days. My hair is extremely thin and so therefore it gets extremely greasy very quickly so this first product is a gift from heaven. I literally use this almost every day when my hair is on it's last day and is greasy, and  even when my hair is clean, for added volume and texture. The messier and more textured my hair is the better!

I have tried multiple dry shampoos and this one by Dove is by far my favorite. It is a spray on formula and it never leaves my hair feeling chalky and doesn't leave my hair white. I got the volume version because I need all the help I can get in that department!

After I wash my hair, I never blow dry my hair. I used to very rarely only when I was late for something and had to do my hair very quickly. Since my hair is so thin and getting thinner by the day, I don't want to add more heat damage to my hair by blow drying it when it can air dry within ten minutes. Yes, my hair gets more curly and more frizzy when I air dry it but it is worth it. Also because I use a hair straightener and curing wand, I get enough heat!

Going along with the no blow dryer and air drying my hair, this product does wonders. This is the Garnier Fructis Beach Chic Texturizing Spray, which gives your hair that beachy, wavy, boho look that I am obsessed with. All I do is while my hair is still wet, I spray a generous amount of this in my hair and then lightly scrunch up my hair and wait for the magic to happen. Now because my hair is very thin, doesn't mean it is naturally straight. Quite the opposite. I have very curly, frizzy natural hair which this product tames and turns frizzy and curly into beachy and wavy. Plus NO HEAT!

This 'It's a 10 Miracle leave in product' is quite possibly one of the greatest products out there. This is an all in one product which you have probably seen on most products, but this one is the truth. This product helps with ten different areas on your hair. It fights frizz, detangles, protects against heat and so much more! I use this mainly after I get out of the shower so that it is ready for whatever I feel like doing to my hair that day. It helps to get any tangles out so that when I brush I won't pull out my hair. Also, it helps to restore my hair and protect it against breakage. 

For now these are the extra products I am using to help my hair. I am thinking about going into a nutritionist and a doctor to see if maybe it is a different issue that is causing my hair to get thinner. I hope you all enjoyed this post and I will see you soon with a new vegan recipe!

UPDATES & Useful Tips

Hello everyone! I have missed sitting down and blogging so much and I apologize for being absent for awhile. Today I am here to update you all on how my vegan lifestyle is going and if there has been any changes in my weight loss journey. 

I am happy to say that I am in love with being vegan! I have switched over to the vegan lifestyle almost one month ago and I have been enjoying it so much. It does get challenging when I go out to eat with family and friends because I have to ask the waitress if certain things are cooked in butter etc, but it hasn't been as bad as I thought it was going to be. My family and friends have really shown me a lot of support which is always appreciated. A lot of my friends have had so many questions regarding why I switched and what I can or cannot eat so I thought I would share with you all what I share with them! Keep in mind I am no expert!

When first deciding to change my eating habits over a year ago I never told myself "these are the foods I can't eat" because feeding yourself that negativity won't make the journey any easier. It will also make you resent healthier foods which is not what you want. If you look at it more as in "I am going to eat this instead of this today because this apple will make me feel better than those french fries" then your mind is going to stay positive. I hope that makes sense! Anyway, I had to do the same thing when switching over to a vegan lifestyle. I just simply cut out dairy and meat out of my diet and kept on with the other foods that I was already eating. For example, I was already eating loads of fruits and veggies because of my healthy diet that I have had for over a year, so thankfully it wasn't a huge adjustment. 

I get asked a lot about how I have so much willpower and how I can be around meat or dairy and not be tempted to indulge. I always remind them of how since the beginning of this journey when I decided to change my eating habits I have had to have intense willpower and strength every single day. It does get easier day by day but we are all human and trust me when I say you will be tempted by unhealthy foods every single day and it is up to you to say no and to move past those foods! So after a little over a year of having to fight temptations, I can say that my strength and willpower level have increased tremendously. 
Also, an obvious answer on how I don't cheat or give into temptation when I get around meat, dairy or anything unhealthy is that I don't want to fill my body with chemicals and unhealthy ingredients that will hurt my stomach and prevent me from staying on track with my weight loss journey. Why would I want to put foods into my body when I don't know where they have come from or how they were made? I love the fact that I know where my meals came from and that I made my meals myself. The reason why so many people decided to start eating healthy is because they don't like the way unhealthy foods make them feel or what they do to their bodies. So to me, it is an obvious choice knowing what healthier foods will do positively to my body.

There are so many different options out there when looking for replacements for meat and dairy products you just have to open your eyes and do some research. That is what I did and found out so many amazing products at my local health food store that made my life and this journey so much easier. If I didn't have a Whole Foods close to me I don't know what I would have done. This store has made life so much easier because they sell pretty much everything you would need for a vegan diet. They have vegan cheese, cream cheese, milk, butter any kind of dairy product you can imagine. Not only dairy, but any kind of meat product you can think of. Ground 'beef', 'chicken' strips, 'bacon' (which I still want to try) and so many more! They also have ready to go frozen meals that are completely vegan and taste delicious! I tend to gravitate more towards the ready to go frozen meals because I am usually on the go or don't have time to cook dinner most nights so I like to have these to heat up at work for lunch etc. 

Now onto the more exciting stuff! Regarding my weight loss, and if I have been losing weight throughout this journey the answer is yes! SMILES AND SNAPS FOR DEE! I have lost 4 pounds since starting the vegan diet and that means I am that much closer to my goal! Four might not sound like a lot but it is amazing to see results after being stuck in a rut for over two months and not losing anything. I know that I am going to see this through and I believe in myself that I am going to continue to stay strong! Each and every one of you needs to say that to yourself every single day because I know and believe in each and every one of you that you can do whatever you set your mind to. Whether it be losing weight and starting a new healthy lifestyle or whatever it is in your life that you need motivation for. Stick with it and don't give up! I love all of you and thank you for sticking with me. 

Here is a recent picture of me about to go out with some friends!

I feel so much lighter and better nowadays and couldn't be more exciting for the future and for this crazy and amazing journey to keep going! 

Three Vegan Toast Recipes

Alright ladies and gents, I am now three days into this new Vegan lifestyle and I am loving it! I have had so much fun experimenting with new foods and new recipes! Today I am going to share three different ways you can spice up a plain piece of toast that you eat at any time throughout the day for a meal or a snack. I hope you are just as excited as I am to try these recipes out for yourself, because my mom and niece can vouch for me when I say these are delicious. 

Strawberry Cream Cheese w/ Balsamic Vinaigrette Toast

What you need:

-Handful of strawberries (sliced)

-1 tbsp Vegan strawberry flavored cream cheese

(the brand I used is "daiya" in strawberry flavor)

-1 slice of Ezekiel bread

-Less than 1/2 tsp of Lite Balsamic Vinaigrette 

(just a drizzle)

Start by toasting your piece of Ezekiel bread (which can be found in your grocers freezer section) / spread around one tablespoon of the strawberry cream cheese onto the bread (I found mine at whole foods) / assemble your sliced strawberries on top / lightly drizzle the lite balsamic vinaigrette on top

This option is seriously so good and can easily be eaten for breakfast or for any time during the day. It takes tops five minutes to make and is completely vegan.

Avocado w/ Sea Salt Toast

What you need:

-1 slice of Ezekiel bread

-1/2 of a small avocado (sliced)

-pinch of sea salt

Start by toasting your piece of bread / arrange your avocado slices on your toast / garnish with your pinch of sea salt

This one was by far the easiest to make and only has two ingredients. The avocado filled with so many good benefits for your body and the sea salt on top adds a perfect pairing to the avocado to give it a good twist. This also can be eaten for breakfast or for a snack during the day, and of course is completely vegan.

Tomato, Basil, Cheese & Balsamic Vinaigrette Toast

What you need:

-1 slice of Ezekiel bread

-1 slice of a large tomato

-1-2 tbsp of shredded Vegan mozzarella cheese

(the brand I used is "Go Veggie" mozzarella shredded cheese")

-pinch of dried basil leaves

-drizzle of lite balsamic vinaigrette

Start by toasting your piece of bread / lay your tomato on the toast / then sprinkle your shredded "cheese" / drizzle your lite balsamic vinaigrette on top / garnish with your pinch of dried basil leaves / place in oven on Broil for around 3-5 minutes depending on your oven / 

(when broiling something you are just making sure the cheese melts, so don't forget to crack the oven door open while it is cooking and make sure to keep an eye on your toast)

Each of these toast recipes are delicious and incorporate ingredients that you most likely will already have in your kitchen. The whole family will love these, and I know kids will have fun assembling their pieces of toast just like my three year old niece did! These are simple and quick to make and they can be eaten all throughout the day for a quick snack.  I hope you all enjoyed my first vegan recipe and there will be a lot more to come so stay tuned!

If you couldn't already tell, we love avocado in our family! 

I AM GOING VEGAN?!

Hello everyone, I have some really exciting news to share with you all! After a lot of research and time thinking it over and over I have decided to try out the Vegan lifestyle. Now I know when someone firsts hears that word they immediately think of hippies and veg heads, but this lifestyle is nothing like that. Yes, you do eat loads of fruit and vegetables but it's so much more than that. 

A little background information on why I decided to try this lifestyle out. I of course grew up eating animal products and dairy products for example, cheeseburgers, ham, turkey, chicken, fish, milk, cheese etc but it wasn't until about a month ago that I ever considered eliminating those foods from my diet. When I started my weight loss journey over a year ago, I eliminated all red meats, such as hamburgers, steak, sausage, pork etc because those in general are the worst types of animal you can eat when trying to diet and lose weight. Sticking with chicken and fish was what I decided to do and I had no issues with this at all. When I started my journey I was already drinking almond milk and wasn't eating loads of cheese but it was defiantly put onto anything I could put it on. These were the ones that I had a little trouble eliminating just because it is more difficult to find certain foods that do not have any dairy products in it, but I have found so many different alternatives which I have already tried (future blog post). 

Oh She Glows Blog

 (Hello...can we all take a moment of silence for these "Easy Carob Almond Freezer Fudge + Frosty Recipe from one of the Vegan blogs that I have fell in love with?! If I can eat these, then sign me up! )

I know that this lifestyle is not for everyone and it takes a lot of research and thought before jumping into changing your entire diet but it was something that I felt ready for. I have recently been trying to get myself out of this funk you could say when it comes to healthy eating and exercising. I have been putting one hundred and ten percent into getting myself back on track though and am more motivated than ever. I thought that this would be a perfect opportunity to get some structure back and discipline back into my diet because before I was just trying to eat healthy and was still allowing myself the opportunity to eat unhealthy if I wanted to. But now, knowing that I cannot eat animal products (which I have no desire to) or dairy products, I am now more motivated to stick to healthy and nutritious options. There are also way too many amazing health benefits not to at least try it out. The list goes on and on that is why I am going to share one website that has all of the information you need, and if you are still looking for more all you have to do is type whatever questions you have into google and there are thousands of blogs there to help!

The Vegan Society
- This is one amazing website that shares extremely helpful and useful information all about why to go Vegan, where to start and all of the amazing benefits. Go check this website out if you are also interested in this lifestyle.

- If you are interested in this lifestyle or want to know more, please go check out this girl named Essena O'Neill's instagram. She is a Vegan as well and shares so many motivating posts along with so many delicious recipes! 
If you are looking on the app type in: "essenaoneill"

Another reason why I decided to go Vegan was because of the main reason why people are Vegan's and that is because of the animals. Don't get me wrong I am not a member of PETA, and I am not a die hard animal lover, but I started really thinking about what went into my cheeseburger and how it came from an innocent animal. I was shocked to read about how many hormones and harmful things go into making these animal products and how I was filling my body with these harmful things. 

I am so excited to only eat fruits and vegetables straight from the earth we live on and how much better I am going to feel not only on the inside but how my physical appearance will change. There are so many recipes and cook books out there with some of your favorite meals that are turned Vegan and how similar they taste. I cannot wait to find and create so many yummy recipes and meals and share them with you all!

(I want to note that I am no expert what so ever and it is going to take me a couple of weeks to completely figure out all of the different types of foods I have to get and completely get into sync with this lifestyle).